believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
