...so i touched it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
