I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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