Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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