Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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