i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
