went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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