What did we do last night that was yellow?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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