its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
