i just wanna soil my oats bro
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize