I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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