i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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