He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
