somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
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his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
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Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
We need to get me chipped asap
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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