everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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