Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
