I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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