i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
