oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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