She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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