dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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