Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
