jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
