Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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