I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
So. Much. Porn.
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