How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
