I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
