But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
