Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
