In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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