She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize