Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
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i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
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Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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