Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
