You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
