Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
