There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
