I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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