yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
