my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
