So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
