Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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