so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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