it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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