i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
