And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
