im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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