He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
