Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
