no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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