I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize