I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
he's gonorrhea incarnate
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
