just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
