I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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