you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
