i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
