I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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