being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize