IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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