I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
