you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
