I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
