the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
